Library Wisdom

Listed below is some of the mystic knowledge I've gained from working twelve years as a public librarian.

1) If your toddler goes missing at the library head straight for one of two places, the top floor of the elevator and the parking lot. Yep, there they are.

2) If you are one hundred percent, really, really, really, sure that you returned that overdue book back to the library and it hasn't shown up on the shelf yet, check under the passenger seat in your car. It has never failed for me. Freaky huh?

3) If you get a sudden fabulous idea to take your whole family to the library tonight, you can be certain that every other family in the city has received the exact same brilliant idea and they will all be there standing in the checkout line ahead of you. We call this psychic broadcasting.

4) If you want to make your librarian's day just walk up to the desk and ask them to recommend some good books. (Be fairly warned, however, that you might not be able to get them to shut up before closing time.)

5) Coming to the children's department to read your favorite childhood picture books with your significant other is not the unique date you might think it is. Proposing in a library, though a surprisingly popular method, is NEVER a good way to start out a future marriage commitment. Trust me on this one.