Adventures in Dieting

I recently started on the Jenny Craig program. Not because I feel I'm fat or anything, I just feel that I need to be a little healthier in my eating habits. And with my bad knee, I figured it couldn't hurt to lose a few pounds and take some pressure off the injury. (Never fall down the stairs and land on your knees on concrete, trust me on this one.)

So I've been on the program two weeks now and many more months of this are ahead of me. To really lose weight that will stay off, you must lose it slowly. (Too bad it doesn't work that way for gaining weight, huh?) I will say this for paid diet programs, during those moments when my body is screaming for something more than carrots and cauliflower--I think about the obscene amounts of money I paid for the privilege of starving myself in style and my appetite is gone in no time. Not to mention the fact I have to report every bad choice I make to a diet councilor every week. They have this paper where you have write down every mistake as well as the reason WHY you decided to cheat. Somehow, "I just wanted to" doesn't feel like quite as good of an answer as it used to before I had to report it to a complete stranger.

My favorite part is the weighing in each week to see how much (or how little) you've lost that week. I almost died laughing when I saw the big piece of poster board propped up in front of the scale with different kinds of Halloween candy taped to it. Next to each one is listed the unbelievable amount of calories each one has. Very effective, I can tell you. Believe it or not they also have an emergency hot line you can call 24 hours a day and talk to someone who will talk you out of any horrendous splurges you might be contemplating. So far I have not had a midnight crisis so I can't tell you if the diet 911 center is effective or not. But it's nice to know they are there if I need them.

I also have to keep track of how many steps I take each day. Seriously. I have this pedometer that I strap on each morning and have to record my findings each day. My main dieting goal this week was to take more steps than last week. Aim high I always say.

They say I can eat as much as I want as long as the foods I choose are on the free food list. (Spinach, carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower are a few examples at the top of the list.) There is no reason I should be hungry at all, my councilor says. Yeah, right! I came home to eat with my parents one night and I was so hungry I ate the entire bowl of cooked chard. My parents just sat there staring on in horrified fascination as I dished out my fourth helping and emptied the bowl.

I was still hungry.

So how are my adventures in the world of dieting panning out so far? Here is the report.

1) I'm starving. (How is it possible for me to be so hungry and not be thin as a rail already?)
2) I'm sick of vegetables. If I never saw another vegetable again in my life, it would be too soon.
3) Jenny Craig food tastes much better than I thought it would. Too bad there is so little of it.
4) Did I mention how much I hate vegetables?
5) I've lost five pounds in two weeks!

Number five is the one that makes all the rest worth while. And it better, because the membership I paid for lasts a full year. Now excuse me while I go cook up another batch of chard--I'm starving.